At a meeting a man pulled a chair out for me. As I lowered to sit, he scooted it under my thighs to support my back end.
Nice. He made my sitting down much more comfortable. A surprising gesture, although my personal space felt invaded.
I thanked him for this gallant, chivalrous long-lost act of kindness.
And I rather liked it.
What have I been missing all my life? What has this generation of feminist-minded women been missing all their lives? My father did little things like this and needless to say this gentleman, yes, was older too.
The fight against gender bias has bit us in the butt.
In our quest for equality with the male populous in income, office, and roles, we've lost something that we secretly desire:
To be cared for. To be assisted. To be honored as the weaker sex in the little things, like opening doors, pushing in our seats, carrying our packages, and supporting us entirely financially.
They, the male sector, thought we wanted to work our little hineys off in addition to the heroic feat of bearing and raising children. And frankly, we asked for it.
Remember an 80's t-shirt that said "I want it all." It's true. We do. But why?
What balanced mind would want to be super man and super woman all at the same time?
Is it an unhealthy thirst for power and significance? A lifestyle that will surely take our relationships and even our very lives.
Today, I unintentionally put my new-found discovery that women secretly desire male assistance into action.
Entering a grocery store, I noticed a very pregnant young lady asking the guy next to her to carry her grocery bags. He ignored her while her carried one bag in one hand and his soda in another. Sipping it selfishly while she struggled with two bulky bags in one hand, purse on her other arm, and her large stomach.
At first I did a double-take but kept walking into the grocery store. Bothered by what I'd just seen, I couldn't keep silent. Spinning on my heels, I pursued them out the door.
"Help her with her packages," I yelled across the parking lot. Stunned they turned to look at me. There was another guy on her other side as well. "She's pregnant! Help her with her bags!"
I never saw if they heeded me, because I took a quick about-face and scurried back into the store, hoping they weren't hot-headed youths who might retaliate.
It was so wrong. Here she was at least eight months pregnant and the two guys she was with were void of any common courtesies, much less gentlemanly favors to a women weighted down by her baby bump. No, actually it was a mountain.
Now I birthed six children. And that last thing I wanted during my pregnancies was to be viewed as an invalid. But at the third trimester, I accepted help.
The inequality of pay does irk me. As does the age discrimination. I have a degree. But I do not work in my field because music is a young person's job. I am a coordinator (glorified admin assistant) and feel I am worth more (who doesn't) and that there are young men whose job I could do better (another common thought). So I agree with pay equality and position equality. But I believe in role difference and I do not want to lose my femininity and have to look like a boy to get where men are.
Penny Wong, Australian Labor Party Senator, is a modern day advocate for women's rights and would argue that girls don't pine for a knight in shining armor. I wonder if one has to cut their hair short and don a pinstripe blazer to achieve an official seat and job equality.
Do we have to dress like a man in order to break through the glass ceiling? That doesn't seem like women's rights. That's women dressing like men to gain men's rights. Abstaining from eye make-up, and shunning skirts and heels is required to break gender bias? That's one gender in my mind. Not two equal sexes. Think about it!
Another early activist of Women's Rights, Emmeline Pankhurst in a 1913 rally.
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| The oh-so-clever cigarette ads of the 70's. |
We can thank our fore-mothers and modern feminists for how far we've come, baby.
Then again, maybe not.
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